Led by Lana Emelyanov, LICSW

If you attended our training by Laurie Watson in November, 2022, this will be a great follow up. If you were unable to attend, this is a terrific opportunity to focus in on your couples’ sexual cycle. As Laurie says, “if you are a couples therapist, you are a sex therapist!”

This meetup will cover sexual assessment in EFT, emotional, physical and spiritual aspects of sexual connection, the interplay between the emotional and the sexual cycle, the dual control model of sexuality, and overcoming shame and sexual stigma. There will be discussion and role play focusing on self-awareness of the therapist and possible blocks related to processing sexual content. Lana will also provide resources for EFT therapists:  podcasts, workshops, educational videos, and books related to sex and sexuality.

Led by Edith Bross Johns, LICSW

The difference between “yeah, I’ve heard all this before,” and “Whoa, that makes so much sense,” providing the attachment frame allows our couples to move from blame and shame to understanding and vulnerability. When and how to seed attachment or to “attachify” is more of an art than a science. Come to this meetup to share your art and hear about how others are seeding this most important awareness in group discussions and break out sessions.

Led by Michelle Avigan, PhD

Are you interested in EFT Certification but find the process overwhelming? or you just don't know how to begin? or you are not sure if it is worthwhile? 

This is the Meetup for you!

During this short presentation, we will demystify the process of certification. You will hear about the requirements and get some tips about getting on the road to certification.

In case you are afraid that your tapes need to be perfect (they DON’T!!!), there will also be some time to watch excerpts of tapes that passed the certification process and to ask questions from Michelle and others who have been through the process.

How many times have you asked, “what was that like to tell him?” and what you hear is “I don’t know”? Move 4 of the Tango is vital in helping our clients to tune into what is happening inside them and between them in that moment. This is where we “catch bullets,” where we make sense of spontaneous responses. Move 5 makes explicit the risk the partner just took, or the block that just emerged. It validates and celebrates. A good Move 5 leads seamlessly into Move 1 with the listening partner. Come to this Connecting Conversation to learn from colleagues how they navigate these two moves while you share your own secrets.

Hosted by Lana Emelyanov

Enactments are what our clients take with them after the session. Effective enactments rewire the way our client’s see their partners: from threat to safety. Effective enactments allow partners to practice their new moves in the development of their positive cycle. Ineffective enactments end up feeling like the same old move in the cycle, can trigger the listening partner and can leave us feeling frustrated and ourselves ineffective helpers. Come to this Connecting Conversation to talk about where our setups go wrong and how we can better set up enactments.

This is the moment when we shift from content to meaning. Where we help our clients see the connection between their distress and the importance of their relationship. Where we heighten the attachment significance. It is the bridge between primary and secondary emotion. Instead of “she never remembers …” we can offer, “you tell yourself you’re not important to her.” Instead of “I blew it again,” we can offer, “he means so much to you, it feels like you are letting him down.” Come to this Connecting Conversation where we will talk all about getting to the reframe, when, how and why it works and, maybe more importantly, when, how and why it doesn’t.

In our first Connecting Conversation we focused on Move 2 in the TANGO and two essential anchors—the 5 Elements of Emotion (M. Arnold) and, relatedly, TEMPO (G. Faller)—that help us to guide our couples through their moves in the TANGO. When we’re struggling to get back in balance or we need to help our clients get back into the TANGO—these anchors help us to slow things down and organize what’s happening in the negative cycle and in the session. Move 2 is the most important move in the TANGO because it 1) gets to each partner’s moves in the negative cycle, 2) gets to what’s underneath the cycle, 3) gets to the reframe and 4) gets to the enactment. It also allows us to slow things down which is critical as we guide our clients to touch core emotion.

We got to watch tape, practice in role plays to guide a client through the 5 elements of emotion and come back to the larger group to process our role play experience and further explore all things Move 2. Folks attending also got an unofficial acronym for the TANGO—because we are all about acronyms-- and they help! As well as a newly created acronym for the 5 Elements of Emotion—more acronyms to come!

Instructor: Danielle Green, LICSW, EFT pioneer and one of the founding mothers of EFT in the Boston area.

Danielle’s presentation focused on getting to emotional handles.  Emotional handles are such an important aspect of EFT.  They are an essential part of attuning, assembling and deepening and getting to fears and longings and rarely talked about indepth.

 Danielle shared two segments of tape with us—in the first one she struggled getting to the emotional handle with an escalated pursuer and in the second tape the pursuing partner is significantly deescalated.  Danielle is then able to help her client drop down into her vulnerable emotion—and able to pull out how it feels for the client underneath the negative cycle.      

 We had several breakout sessions to practice and discuss the first and second tapes and ended with a lively discussion with the larger group about blocks to getting to emotional handles—for both clients and therapists.

 We are so grateful to Danielle for so generously giving her time and bringing us such a rich learning experience.